I’ll never forget when my 10 year old asked me “How do people have sex?” and then “How many times a week do you have sex?” or when my 5 year old asked me when I was showering “When will I get hair around my private parts?”. What would you have said or say if your child asked you these questions? (and the many other challenging questions that children may ask)
These general suggestions still apply as children’s questions become more and more complex as they get older. (take it from me, as a mum of 3 older teens)
:) Answer your child’s questions openly and honestly, provide accurate information. Sometimes it’s harder to undo the myths and distractions that you might have told them already. For example the endless (untrue stories about how babies are made… ie, storks, ordering them online, saying it’s disgusting etc)
:) Use the correct words and keep your answers uncomplicated and short so they can actually understand what you are saying. Take it from me because I often used to launch into a tell it all story when my children were young and they didn’t actually want a long answer…or understand what on earth I was talking about. By the way remember, if you don’t know the answers, (that’s okay) tell them you will find out, then look it up. (I still constantly do this)
:) Tell your child that you are nervous or embarrassed and may not know all of the answers. This does not mean you are a failure as a parent quite the opposite in fact. It shows them that parents are still learning and that that’s a good thing.
The good news is that by making an effort and talking about sex with your child (even if inside you are cringing!) sends the message that you want your child to come to you with any questions or worries that they may have.
So don't give up …you can do this!!