It is important for the kids to know that they are the boss of their own body
Did you know that body safety education, which is a significant aspect of sexual health education, begins with a young child knowing that they are the boss of their body—every part of it? If you stop and think about this sentence, it’s empowering, don’t you think?
Child Safety education involves teaching your child many concepts and this can start when they are babies.
How were you taught to respect adults when you grew up? Was it like me? Do what all grown-ups tell you to, or grown-ups are always right and must be respected. The great thing is that times have changed, and now we are more aware and educated. Yes, adults should be respected; everyone should be, and that means our children knowing that they are the boss of their bodies.
Knowing where to start conversations about sex or sexual abuse is not easy but so important because sexual abuse statistics are very high. Our children knowing that they are the boss of their bodies has nothing to do with the act of sex, which we often believe is where we need to start.
Statements that I often hear from parents are ‘I’ll destroy their innocence,” “I don’t want to scar or scare them,” “They’re too young,” “What if they tell their friends?” ‘My extended family doesn’t agree with me talking about private parts,’ ‘They have younger siblings, and I don’t want them to know’—the opposite can be true. Knowing that they are the boss of their bodies, every part of them, can enable them to be more confident and to speak up in a situation that is not safe.
Being the boss of their body means understanding that your child has a choice, and that their choice matters. One of the principles of consent is they can decide who touches their body. This can help lay the foundation for them to speak up and say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ in every relationship, especially to abuse. This lays the foundation for bodily autonomy.
There are many important lessons that we can teach our children from a very young age, such as listening to our bodies, recognizing early warning signs, that it’s okay to say no and stop, no matter who the person might be. So check out The Body Safety Checklist here to know if your child has been taught these important concepts.
Ultimately, however, it’s up to us to protect our kids, not them. How can we do this? Well, start with a book. I have so many books on my website about bodily autonomy, and I have included some below:
Boss of Your Own Body
'Boss of Your Own Body' was written by Beth Stephen and is recommended for children aged 3-7 years. It was published in 2022.
I'm the Boss of My Body
I'm the Boss of My Body is a book about consent and protective behaviors written by Patricia Una Barden for kids aged 3 to 7.
I'm the Boss of Me
I'm the Boss of Me! is a book about consent and protective behaviors written by Laura Fogarty and illustrated by Remi Bryant for kids aged 6 to 8.
Who's The Boss of This Body
Who's The Boss of This Body is a book for kids child protection written by Meghan Hurley Backofen.
Rhymes like “From my head to my toes, I say what goes” are fun ways to learn together. Singing songs like “Heads, shoulders, knees, and toes,” role-playing situations where you can teach your child how to say ‘no’ and ‘stop’. One of my favourites is to blow a big bubble around your body from your head to toe—and talking about a body bubble being similar to a body boundary.
Last but not least, practicing, being a role model, and talking often and early on about these important topics not only teaches and encourages your child but can help open up ongoing lifelong and shame-free conversations for the whole family, which, as you might know, is what I believe is the basis of positive sexual health education.
So, begin with bodily autonomy and empower the whole family!
