Fathers as Sex Educators
Fathers’ Day week in Australia is special for people to show their appreciation for fathers, stepfathers, and other father figures. Did your dad or a father figure ever talk to you about anything to do with sexual health like bodies, sex, puberty, relationships, gender or pornography?
Research shows that fathers play a really important role in educating their child about sex, whether it’s knowledge and understanding, or the attitudes, actions or words that are taught through modelling.
So, here are 10 reasons why dads play an equal role, or if a single dad, a vital role, when it comes to being sex educators to their child.
The importance of a different perspective
A different perspective or differing opinion can be really important. As I have raised my now 3 grown up kids, more than ever I have realised the role that my husband has played has been invaluable especially when it comes to a different perspective. This has not only challenged and supported me and my ideas around topics like masturbation, but also at times shown my kids other ways of dealing with challenging situations.
Someone else to talk to
It’s also given my kids another person to talk to when they didn’t want to talk to me.
Times have changed
Times have changed and your children need you. We have become far more aware of what sex actually means, which is great, that it’s not just ‘the talk’. These days the issues are far more complex, there’s the earlier influence of the media and pornography, so the conversations are tough, and the contribution of a dad is needed.
Fathers as sex educators
‘Go ask your mother’ just doesn’t cut it anymore. A father's role as a parent is just as important. Your kids need to see that you have something valuable to say. Your ideas matter and your children depend on you.
A respectful example
We need to counteract the messages that society tells us about gender roles like girls give consent, boys assume consent, boys are strong, girls are weak. Girls need respectful examples like you more than ever.
Ask dad anything
Open, guilt and shame free, positive conversations are important so that your child knows they can ask you anything, whether it’s about periods or sex. If you have never talked about these things before then your child may see it as taboo and off limits.
Respect, trust and kindness
Sex is about so many things including healthy relationships, respect, trust and kindness. You are teaching your children in the way that they observe you treating your partner and others.
Rolemodels
The relationship that your kids have with you matters in so many ways, for example - how you treat your partner impacts how your kids will treat their future partner. Your relationship with them influences their sense of worth which ultimately affects their relationships and above all, how they treat others and engage in sexual relationships in the future.
Ask questions
Your kids know that you care about everything, when you take an interest and ask them questions. Eg periods, wet dreams, and the things that can be embarrassing to talk about.
Kids need you!
Sometimes with the pressures that our kids are constantly bombarded with, such as sexting, peer pressure and the over sexualisation of children, they need you more than ever to be there for them in a non-judgemental way.
Cheers to all dads!
So, cheers to you if you are and want to be a positive, open, sensitive, emotional, listening, inspiring, empowering, respectful, encouraging, honest, factual, inclusive, shame-free, safe, trustworthy, open, honest, empathetic teacher and role model when it comes to educating your child about sex and the world they live in.
We celebrate and are grateful for you.
More Resources For Parents
Click here for a list of books that guide you on your journey as parents and educators. I have read and reviewed all of the books you find on this page and I am still in the process of adding more books to the list.
Or, click here for my online program about puberty – a great ice-breaker to do together with your child to get the conversation started. An interactive two-unit course for parents/carers and their pre-teens.
