It’s a parent’s and teacher’s worst of nightmares so it is important that you know if a child is being sexually abused and what to do if a child discloses this to you.
If a child is a victim of sexual abuse they can change how they behave which can include explicit sexual behaviours that are not age-appropriate, sleep and eating problems, lack of hygiene and self-care, obsessive behaviours, nightmares, wetting or hurting themselves, having problems at school, increased aggression, obsessive behaviour, anger or withdrawal.
They might also show physical signs like injuries, infections and inflammation of private parts including mouths, discomfort when going to the toilet, urinary tract infections and bowel problems, getting a sexually transmitted disease or becoming pregnant. None of this is pleasant or easy to respond to, but many parents will wait for a surprising length of time before they respond to any of the above.
It is also important to know that abuse of children isn’t just sexual abuse. Abuse can also include physical, verbal, emotional, neglect and related to domestic violence.
If a child discloses abuse, or if you suspect something, or if you observe children in your neighbourhood or other contexts that concern you -do something. If you are able to, provide immediate support, reassure them that they are safe and brave, that it is not their fault, and that they have done the right thing by talking to you. Demonstrate that you believe and trust them. Listen and try to remain calm and don’t talk about your own feelings. Write some notes about what they have told you. It is important not to ask too many questions and to not ask leading questions that put words in their mouth. Do not get angry, or blame and confront the abuser. Don’t tell the child you will not tell anyone, explain that you will need to speak to someone who can help them and stop this from happening again. Keep this information confidential although get help and report this immediately. In Australia, you can contact the police or a Department of Communities and Justice hotline.
Click here https://www.amazingme.com.au/topics/child-safety-consent/ for some great books about child protection. At the back of most of these books, there is information for adults, all about how to teach body safety.
So, trust your gut. Don’t ignore behaviour that is out of character even if it is not abuse. Behaviour is always communicating something. You know your child better than anyone so act by paying close attention, listening and getting help straight away if you feel the least bit concerned. Through education, we can change the terrible statistics of child abuse.
