As a parent it can sometimes be daunting to know how to navigate a child’s curiosity about sex in our over sexualised society. Is it normal? Will I say too much or not enough? Will I destroy their innocence or make them want to look up pornography or have sex at early age?
Curiosity is wonderful and important as it helps a child learn about the world. The challenge is how to respond in a positive and open way that encourages conversations. Parents can help foster healthy feelings about sex if they answer questions in an age-appropriate way. Children’s curiosity is a good thing and if we see it from that perspective then it can change the way we talk about it. For example, it’s perfectly natural for infants and toddlers to explore their genitals. Talking with young children about the right names for their genitals and public and private parts paves the way for open communication as they get older. If the lines of communication are open, where it’s honest, non-judgmental and nurturing, then their curiosity will be seen as a positive thing.
What if you shut down their curiosity? They might feel ashamed. They might think that their questions and feelings are something to be ashamed of and this can be confusing and lead to feelings of guilt and anxiety.
Saleema Noon, a sexual health educator in Vancouver, and author of the book, “Talk Sex Today: What Kids Need to Know and How Adults can Teach Them,” says “We want kids to learn from a young age that sexual feelings are healthy. If they’re exploring their genitals, and they get the feeling from those around them that what they’re doing is bad or dirty, it’s going to impact them in a negative way, and they’re going to take that forward into their relationships.
Let’s face it, if we think about curiosity in the context of positive healthy learning and ultimately wise choices in the future, then it might change how we feel about talking about tough topics like sex.
