In the schools that teach at I am often asked not to say the word “pornography” but instead use words like “pictures of private parts”, “people hurting each other with no clothes on” or “inappropriate pictures”.
These words are still correct but why are we so hesitant in using the correct word? I think it’s for a number of reasons. Do any of these ideas resonate with you?
The idea of talking to your child about pornography let alone saying the p word makes you feel fearful, uncomfortable and awkward.
✮ You didn’t even know what pornography was until you were in high school so you think that that is the right age for your child to start the conversation.
✮ Your child will no longer be innocent if you say pornography.
✮ You think that you might encourage them to look at pornography.
✮ They are too young and not ready.
✮ They have not asked so I’m not going to tell them.
Saying the word pornography will not take away your child’s innocence but in actual fact it will do the opposite. Using the correct word will preserve and empower them to know what to do when they see it and not feel guilty or ashamed and hide it from you when they do.
By saying the word pornography at a young age your conversations will become more open and shame-free. Your children will learn that the topic is not taboo and that it can be spoken about in your household, rather than secretive, avoided or hidden. With 81% of Australian pre-schoolers having access to the internet, especially through access to smart phones and portable devices, it’s more important than ever to start the conversation when they are young.
Times have changed, and so should we as parents. It’s much easier to access and be shown pornography whether by accident or by well-intentioned childhood curiosity. Therefore, it’s so important to use the right words.
I remember when my daughter was young and saw the models in an underwear shop. She pointed to them and said in a really loud voice “don’t look mum that’s pornography!” Did I go bright red as people stared? I sure did. But I also said “it sure looks like pornography and let’s talk about it when we get in the car”. Not only did this give me time to calm down and think about what I would say, but it also affirmed that I still wanted to talk about it – and we did.
So next time you feel embarrassed to use the word pornography …be brave!
