Focus on the Postives Instead of the Negatives
Take it from me, when your children go through puberty it’s not always easy, but my kids made it through and so will yours. If we focus on all the negatives and not the positives then this can make it much more difficult for you and your family.
So here are 10 tips to help you change your mindset about puberty from a negative to a positive.
10 Tips About How To Change Your Family’s Mindset About Puberty From Negative To Positive
Focus on all the positive aspects of puberty
Chat about the exciting things that they get to do. For example, getting taller, (even going on certain rides at a show or theme-park), becoming more independent, staying up later, going out with friends more, having more choices and even more fun, shopping, falling in love, confidence, body changes, connecting with you the parent in a different way. All of these things can be exciting and something to look forward to.
Keep things in perspective
I did not do this enough when my kids were going through puberty, but you can that’s for sure! There needs to be expectations and consequences but there also needs to be some compromise.
Celebrate puberty
I often say this to the families that I speak with. In so many cultures they have a party or do something special to celebrate puberty. This could just be going out for dinner, to the movies or even having a party. Let’s face it, puberty is a big deal, so celebrate!
Be an encourager
Encourage a healthy lifestyle by taking walks, exercising together and cooking healthy foods. Encourage friendships, respect and manners. Basically, encourage your child in every area of life!
Value diversity
Value the quirkiness in your kids as they grow and change. Each one is special and unique and valuable. If you compare and comment about their appearance or their bodies this will make them feel insecure and ashamed.
Communicate together in a different way
Don’t expect that your relationship will be the same because it won’t be, (this will be difficult at times). It will just be different, so the way that you communicate needs to be. They want to be treated more like adults and that’s normal, and must be respected.
Organise family rituals
Movie nights, holidays together and meals. Even though you may think that it’s not true, your child needs you more than ever and these things are really important.
Have a home where your child wants their friends to be
Get to know your child’s environment and what they are into. A great way to know this is by being a house where your child feels relaxed enough to invite their friends around.
Have mentors for your child
This one is tough because it’s not always easy and your child may not want to, but sometimes your child will not be able to, or want to talk to you. So, sit down together and work out who are the other trusted adults who your child can communicate with, then speak with the mentor.
Look after yourself
To look after your children, you need to look after yourself, (this was so difficult for me). Physically - get enough sleep, eat healthy and exercise. Emotionally - get support and help when you need it, taking time out when you can. Socially - catch up with your partner will help you to both be consistent.
Practice Makes Perfect
It all takes practise, but choosing to be pro-active and positive can change your mindset and in turn help your family to be closer and happier.
More Resources About Puberty
Click here for a list of books about puberty. I have read and reviewed all of the books you find on this page and I am still in the process of adding more books to the list.
Or click here for my online program about puberty. An interactive two-unit course for parents/carers and their pre-teens.
