Remember: Puberty is Normal
It’s not rocket science but I really think that the most important thing that your child needs to know about puberty is that they are normal. Puberty is different for everyone, so what is normal anyway, especially as it begins at different ages. Sure, there is a general order in which the changes happen and your child definitely needs to know what’s going on so that they can be prepared physically, emotionally and socially, but reassurance that they are normal gives them confidence and is so important. Sometimes coping with puberty can be difficult so here is some advice and tips on how to deal with puberty that I wish I had as a pre-teen.
I wish that I knew that I was normal!!
When I started going through puberty at the age of 9 I felt abnormal! I was younger than most in my class and was not prepared in any way. This might not have been the case for you as puberty is different for everyone. Their confidence and self-esteem are being particularly affected at this stage so they need to know that you are always there for them.
Generally, puberty starts anywhere from 9 to 14 years old, but not always! Whenever it starts for your child, even if it’s earlier or later, the message should be that they are normal. Puberty can also take a short or long time but you can always encourage your child by saying how unique and special they are along the way. By you or anyone else commenting or drawing attention to their changing bodies, or not, can cause all sorts of insecurities. I remember friends of the family commenting about my growing breasts!
How to Go Through Puberty Successfully
If you really are worried that something doesn’t seem quite right about their growth and development, check with your family doctor. Your child does not have to come to the appointment to hear what you are worried about. Or phone your doctor prior to an appointment, so your child can have a general check-up without picking up on what you are concerned about.
How can you reassure your children that they are normal? Our kids need to know that their value lies in who ‘they are’ not what they look like. This is really hard sometimes because of social media but you can reinforce this by commenting on their strengths, that you are proud of them and not just their outward appearance.
If your children are like mine then many short, repeated, affirming natural chats are the best! “The younger they are, the better!” I say. Have your conversations in a spontaneous and open way so that your children can be prepared, not scared and deal with puberty in a normal way. Through this your relationships will be strengthened, you will have lots of laughs, and many positive puberty conversations will continue over many years, and then into adulthood.
